Melissa's Eulogy -Thanks To Bruce Eisenberg.

Hello, my name is Bruce Eisenberg. For those of you who don’t know me, for 28 years I have been a lawyer in the lawfirm started by Melissa’s father, Stanley Cohen. But more importantly, I am a close friend of Melissa’s and her family and have been for all of my life. By the way, it is her father whose name Melissa used in the film industry, and that is why many of you here know her as “Stanley” Cohen.

It is truly an honor and privilege to be the one asked to speak about Melissa today, and I am grateful to her family for allowing me the opportunity to do so. I just hope I am able to capture the essence of Melissa in a speech, especially when I don’t have Melissa here to direct me. For surely, she would have preferred to give this speech herself to make sure it was done properly.

Melissa was born in April 1971. The first child born to Ardis and Stanley Cohen. She grew up in Ellicott City and soon had a younger brother Jeremy, whom she loved dearly. Jeremy still remembers how his big sister would stick up for him – emotionally as well as physically. When he would get into neighborhood scuffles Melissa, in Jeremy’s words, was “always there to back me up.”

When Melissa was 10 her father Stanley died, but Melissa continued to admire, love, and respect him for the rest of her life. In fact, several years ago, Melissa contacted Levinson’s funeral home to make sure she could be buried at Beth Tfiloh Cemetery right next to her father Stanley. Melissa and Jeremy and Ardis fought together toget through such a terrible loss and became closer as a result of it. Certainly her father’s death had a huge impact on Melissa’s life.

Melissa graduated from Mt. Hebron High School where she had been a cheerleader for a at least one year, she took some courses at Catonsville Community College andthen decided to head out west on her own to learn the film business.

Over the years working in the film industry, Melissa served as the Production Assistant, Production Coordinator, or Production Supervisor on many, many major motion pictures, including Twelve Monkeys, Me, Myself & Irene, The Wedding Planner, Antoine Fischer, Ladder 49, and Failure to Launch.

At the age of 29 or 30, Melissa left California and moved to Colorado where she became a white water rafting guide. Ultimately, Melissa returned to the Baltimore area to be close to Ardis and Jeremy and got back into the film industry locally and then she even went into the mortgage business for a brief period of time.

I try to think of a word that best describes Melissa. Is it Hardworking? Certainly her co-workers in the film industry say she worked harder, with more stamina, than anyone they knew. And has anyone worked for a cause as tirelessly as Melissa did for the fight against breast cancer?

Is the word I’m looking for Tough? A friend of who washer production assistant several years ago will always remember seeing a Washington DC teamster walk out of Melissa’s office in tears, and of course, there has been no one tougher or stronger in confronting an illness than Melissa. One friend described Melissa fighting cancer as she lived – as a warrior goddess.

Is the word Fearless or Confident? Even at age six after fracturing her arm in gymnastics class, Melissa went to Ocean City on a family vacation and proceeded to do cartwheels in the sand with her arm in a cast. When she worked at an Amoco station during high school, Melissa would wear her Amoco shirt to school, not caring what others might think about how she dressed. At age 18 she moved to California on her own. And according to her friend Lani, Melissa has singlehandedly rebuilt her house, hiked barefoot in the California desert, gone scubadiving, and played volleyball with a Marine unit and kicked ass.

Is Playful the word that best describes Melissa? When she got her red Cabriolet convertible in high school, Melissa bought matching red sunglasses. Her co-workers in the film business remember how she would throw something at them and laugh, or playfully knock everything off the desk of the one who was a little too neat or organized.

Is it Wild? Well, I guess we really can’t go into much detail there – suffice it to say that there was decent partying going on at the condo Melissa had in Ellicott City. One friend even referred to her as a wildcat. She was also a skydiver, white water rafter, and skier.

Is the word I’m looking for Devoted Friend? Without fail, everyone, including Ardis, viewed Melissa as the best friend anyone can have. When a friend of Melissa’s mistakenly signed up for the military after high school, it was Melissa who helped her get out of her commitment. While in California, it was Melissa who contacted a doctor in Baltimore to try to get a referral for her California friend. When it didn’t go work out, Melissa drove her friend across the country and just showed up in the Baltimore doctor’s office with her friend. On more than one other occasion, Melissa traveled across the country to help a friend. Many cards sent to Melissa in the hospital, most recently, from her movie industry cohorts, express gratitude for her giving them encouragement and the push they needed to continue in their careers. Melissa’s friend, Denise, recounted how she could and did call Melissa in the middle of the night when necessary and how it was Melissa who helped Denise relocate after a broken engagement. Melissa’s friend and co-worker, Ann, will always remember when they were working on a film in Miami during Christmas and it was Melissa who went out of her way to get a Christmas tree for Ann and others and helped them to have a good Christmas even though they were away from their families. I am told Melissa planned huge weekend meals for friends in each and every place she lived.

Is Honest the word I’m looking for? Certainly anyone who knew Melissa knows that she said what she thought and never sugar coated anything.

Is it Loving? Melissa loved her family, her mother, Ardis, her brother, Jeremy, her sister-in-law, Melanie, her two nieces, Sara and Emily, her aunts and uncles and cousins. She moved back to the Baltimore area to be close to her family and would always go out of her way throughout the years to attend family holiday dinners at Irv and Carol’s house. And, we can’t forget Petie, her little Chihuahua whom she loved so much and would bring him to work with her every day. And, of course she loved her husband, Scott, and realized how fortunate she was to have him, especially through the years of her illness. No one was more devoted to Melissa than Scott.

I guess I must conclude that one word isn’t enough to describe Melissa. Hard working, tough, fearless, confident, playful, wild, devoted friend, honest, loving – they all apply. Which I guess just makes Melissa unique, the word I’ve been searching for all along. Melissa’s smile, which as my sister Barbara describes it, “Went all the way up her to her eyes” was contagious. It represented her zest and her passion for life, her desire to live life to the fullest each day. According to Scott, Melissa made him appreciate life. Her uniqueness led him to tell me he feels so fortunate to have been with Melissa that he wouldn’t change a thing in the past five years. Yes, Melissa was unique. She was one of a kind. From the large crowd here today, it is clear that her uniqueness has touched a great many people and that her spirit will remain with us, and in us, forever.

Bubba Smith, who was a very close friend of Melissa’s father Stanley, and is Melissa’s godfather, tells the story of Stanley holding up his newborn babygirl to Bubba and with great pride saying, “Look, Bubba, look what I did!” Those of you who knew Stanley knew that many of the words I have used to describe Melissa also apply to him. I can’t help but think of the reunion that Melissa is having now with Stanley and Gee, Melissa’s grandfather, and I smile thinking about Gee and Stanley having another third generation family member to argue with. I am sure Melissa’s cousin, Douglas, can use her help in these arguments.

But I think we can all reflect on Melissa’s life and how much she was able to accomplish in thirty-six brief years and honestly say, “Look, look what she did”, and feel very happy for her. Anyway, I think that’s what she would want.